


Different Kinds of Love

by PuppyLuver256



Series: Life and Times in the Habit-Bora Household [2]
Category: Smile For Me (Video Game)
Genre: Ace Dr. Boris Habit, M/M, Trans Dr. Boris Habit, it's always a relief when you find out your experiences have a name, it's just a movie scene and nothing is described in detail but it's still there, rated t for discussion about sex, so i thought i'd play it safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:00:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21548737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuppyLuver256/pseuds/PuppyLuver256
Summary: A slightly awkward movie night leads to Boris Habit learning more about himself and realizing once again that he's not as abnormal as he may have believed.
Relationships: Kamal Bora/Dr. Boris Habit
Series: Life and Times in the Habit-Bora Household [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1552876
Comments: 8
Kudos: 56





	Different Kinds of Love

It was a quiet evening, and Putunia had already been put to bed. Now that they had the rest of the night to themselves, Boris and Kamal had decided to watch a grown-up movie for the first time in a while, a romcom to be precise. This was nice, getting to watch a movie that was generally relaxed in overall tone for a change rather than the more action-packed and kid-focused entertainment that they had become used to. No explosions, no fantastic battles between superpowered rivals, just a more down-to-earth (and admittedly somewhat hokey) story of developing lovers and the shenanigans they would get into while discovering how far their feelings for one another went.

Things were really enjoyable until the moment when the two leads had a steamy encounter in the leading man’s apartment. In less euphemistic terms, it was a sex scene. Boris kept glancing back to the stairs to make sure Putunia didn’t wander in at this point, while Kamal just rolled his eyes at the “action” on the screen. “I mean, come on, she doesn’t even look like she’s enjoying herself at all,” Kamal groaned. “Dude’s getting all the pleasure and she’s just _there_. That’s not how freakin’ sex is supposed to go, _Hollywood_ , everyone’s supposed to like it or it’s bad. And what is showing what little of this they can without getting an X-rating even adding to the plot that can’t be replaced with them just waking up beside each other the next morning?”

_Everyone’s supposed to like it..._ That wording struck Boris somewhere deep, though he couldn’t quite articulate exactly why. He sunk into the couch cushion, and for someone as large as he was, in that moment he felt very small. Sensing his discomfort, though not necessarily the confusing reason as to why, Kamal quickly grabbed the remote. “Hey, you want me to try and fast-forward past this?” he asked. “If it’s making you uncomfortable, I can always...”

“Kamal...” Boris said, his voice sounding weird from a bit of a hitch in his throat. “Am I...am eye broke’n?”

“Uhhhh...” He paused the video, then stopped it because he'd paused on a really awkward visual. “How are we talking, ‘broken’? Do you mean like what...um, what happened to you as a kid? Cuz that wasn’t your fault—”

“You said ev-er-y-one is supp-osed to ‘like’ it.” Boris gritted his teeth a bit, and while normally he'd make yet another mental note to get some more of those excess implants removed, he didn’t feel that was important in the moment. “Ev’ryonme is sup-ozed too like consent-ual secks, right?”

“Wh—no, that’s not what I meant, really,” Kamal said. “I was talking about how sex is supposed to be fun for all the participants, otherwise it’s a waste of time at best or...well, you know. Nasty. And honestly I don’t blame you if you were uncomfortable cuz of that scene, watching other people getting it on feels like an invasion of privacy even when it’s fiction.”

Boris shook his head. “It isn’t’t just watchingg othrer peepole doing it in movies,” he said softly. “It’s...try-ing to imagen my-slelf doing it, ever. A-dults are sup-posed to wamnt to have ‘sex’ with the per-son they lovbe and I...don’t?” Somehow saying out loud that felt simultaneously relieving and terrifying. “I’m so so so worryed because I love you so very very vlery much but I camt showit in the whey I’m su-pposed to be-cause evry time I think abbout sex I get real-ly uncomforble for no real reasonm...”

“Hey, it’s okay, everyone handles that sort of thing differently,” Kamal said. He gently took Boris’s hand in his own. “Listen, I hope I never made you feel like I was pressuring you to do anything you’re not comfortable with or anything...”

“Domt worry, it’s not you.” Boris sighed. “I thinmk I’m just worr-ied that I’m doing some-thing wrong agaimn and there might ‘not’ be a reason why to tell me it’s fine this time...”

“What do you mean?”

“First I was told I could-n’t call myself ‘Boris’ or tell peo-ple I was a boy be-cause I was born a certainm way,” he said. “Then when I started live-ing like the man I amn, I was ‘told’ I coudnt love oth-er men any-more. And now that Im marryed to the most wonderfulest guy Ive ebver known, all the movies and comm-er-shals and magazeene ads tell me I’m not show-ing him my love in the ‘right’ way..." He rubbed his eyes, which had already started to tear up. “And it's not just ‘that’. I’m scared that may-be I tricked us both into think-ing I loved you somehow when I...might not _actually_ feel that way.”

Kamal was really confused at this point. The explanation of how Boris came to realize he was transgender and gay he could understand, and even somewhat relate the gay part to his own realization that his attraction to multiple genders was normal, but that last part... “Boris, listen to me,” he said. “I know for a fact that there’s no way your love can be anything but genuine. You’re a _terrible_ liar. Great at not telling things, yeah, but awful at lying. And if all the media’s saying that the way you feel that love is wrong, screw it, it also says that women have to be sticks and dudes have to have washboard abs to be desirable.”

“I’me still worrey-ed,” Boris admitted. “I know I lobve you so much, but itse just...” He paused for a bit. “I think your a cutie. I think you look ‘nice’ and all your fea-tures are lovely. Your eyes and hair and nose and smileys are all won-derflul. I see you hap-py for any reason amd I feel a bit of that happy-ness too. I wamt you to be happy and health-y and safe and to be by you’re side for-ever or as long as we can be...”

“Sounds like real love to me,” Kamal said, taking his drink in his hand to have a sip. “So what’s the problem?”

He couldn't think of any better way to say it, and he was very glad that Putunia was in bed and most likely asleep by now. "What the act-ual _hell_ is ‘sex a-peel’??” Boris asked, trying very hard not to let his frustration make him shout. “And how does any-one figure out when some-one else has it???”

Kamal nearly spat out the drink in his mouth at this. “Sex appeal? It’s, uh...” How the hell was he gonna explain this? He wasn’t even sure how _he_ knew when he saw it, he just...Did. He could just say something like “well I know you got it”, but he had the feeling that Boris didn't need jokey answers at that moment. “Honestly, I think it’s different for everyone. And you know, maybe there are people who just don’t notice it at all, and that’s fine. It’s not hurting anyone if that’s the case.”

“I hope you’re right,” Boris sighed. “Itse just ‘hard’ to think their is no-thing wromg with me when ev-er-y-time someonme sayes ‘ _oh look at that guy! he’s so hot and sexy!_ ’ I take a look and he’s just moder-ately attractive.” He chuckled. “I just remembrered one of those un-helpful PSAs I made back at the Habitat. The one about look-ing just like the shiny hot people. Funny that I didmt even ‘know’ what that real-ly meant.”

“Well, I just want you to know somethin’,” Kamal said, leaning on Boris and patting him on the shoulder. “I don’t care about the reasons behind _why_ you feel the way you do about that one kind of intimacy. It’s just one type of love, and I’ve seen how much you really _do_ care in all the other ways you’ve shown it, and to me that’s all that matters. But still, if there’s any way I can help you figure this puzzle out, I’ll be here for ya.”

“You’re so goode to me.” Boris pulled Kamal in a bit closer for a proper hug. “I’m ‘so’ luckey to have you...”

Kamal laughed. “I could say the same thing, hehe.” They briefly separated, then Kamal realized he still had the remote in his hand. “You, uh...you wanna watch something else?” he asked. “I dunno if finishing this up would be the best given the circumstances...”

“May-be we should just end the movie night hear,” Boris said. “Evrything else we have is too long to start-up now.”

“Yeah, good point.”

Kamal took the tape out of the VCR and put it back in its case while Boris cleaned up their snacks. It was getting late, and they had planned to go to bed after their movie was finished anyway, so another quick hug (with Boris sneaking a smooch on the top of Kamal’s head like he often did) and they did just that. As the couple laid in bed, Boris still couldn’t help but dwell on what had just happened. Despite Kamal’s assurances, he knew that feeling this way wasn’t typical, even if it _did_ end up being something normal. At least, he _hoped_ it was normal...

\-----

Even after having slept on the thought, Boris couldn’t keep it off his mind off it. Thankfully working with his flowers always managed to cheer him up ever since he’d gotten back to the roots of his real passion, pun not intended but definitely appreciated, and running his recently opened flower shop was quite the mood booster on top of that. Still, the weight of his issue must’ve been noticeable in some way, as while he was helping Mirphy with an order of begonias she kept shooting him looks of concern. “Here you goe!” he said with a smile. “What do you ‘think’?”

“Oh, it’s excellent!” Mirphy exclaimed. “It’ll go great with my next shoot!” She took hold of the pot the flowers were in, presumably to take them and go, but she hesitated. “You doin’ okay there, Habit?” she asked. “You look a bit down in the mouth...”

Boris gave her a confused look, then put his hand up to his mouth before stopping himself. “Silley me, you meant feeling sad, not acci-dentally eating pillow stuffing,” he chuckled to himself. He shook his head. “No, it’s really nothing,” he said. “I’ve just been thinking about some-thing since last night, but it’s a personnel promblem. I think eye can savit until my therapy appointment...”

“Well, you wanna talk about it with a friend in the meantime?” Mirphy asked. “If it’s not gonna be too personal, that is.”

“To be hon-est, I’m a little worreyed about me and Kamal," Boris said. “We’re doing grate, but at the same time...you remembrer when we got marryed, right?”

Mirphy raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Habit. I was _there_. As both one of your guests and your photographer. There’s no possible way I could forget.” She laughed a little. “A nice April wedding for a fitting pair of love-nerds.”

“Six months,” Boris confirmed. “And we’ve been live-ing together for a bit longer than that. And even after all that time, we’ve nevber once slept to-gether. Yes, we sleep in the same bed, but we haven’t—” He heard the door open and looked past Mirphy to see who might be his next potential customer might be. He could barely make out the top of a ponytail usually worn by a certain gremlin grape _who should really be in school right now_ , so he lowered his voice into a whisper before continuing. “We havem’t done any _adult activities_ , if you know whamt I mean.”

“Yeah, I get what you’re sayin’.” Mirphy nodded. “Actually not surprised that someone like him wouldn’t be into that sort of thing, guess I was right when I pegged him as an ace.”

“No, I donmt think you under-stand, _I’m_ the one who doesn’t—” It then clicked. Mirphy’s reaction, it wasn’t just understanding, but _knowledge_. And that term she used... “Wait, say that again. What did you call it?”

“What, you mean ‘ace’?”

“Yes, that!” Boris said. "What do you ‘mean’ bye that?”

“Short for ‘asexual’,” Mirphy replied. “Lack of sexual attraction. Why, do you think that could be you or something?”

Boris's eyes lit up. There was a word for it. There was a _word!_ These feelings he had, or more accurately lack thereof, they had a _name!_ But then he got worried again. If he didn’t experience attraction, then...what about his love for Kamal? “So this ‘a-secks-yual’ thing...” He paused, trying to find the right way to word it. “Can some-one be an ‘ace’ and also be gay? Like for kissies and cuddles, but not bed-room things?”

Mirphy shrugged. “I’d guess so,” she said. “Pretty sure those things aren’t always sandwiched together. I mean, I’ve never been too keen on romance myself but I see a hot girl and I’m thinking ‘bloody hell that's a hot girl’, so I think the opposite is possible.”

“Mirphy Foto you have no idea how much this tiney conversation has helped.” There were tears forming in his eyes, tears of joy. He wasn't broken. He was just something a lot of people didn’t know about. And that was okay. “Can I...can I give you a hug?”

“Fine, I guess, just make it qui—OOF!” Mirphy had the wind nearly knocked out of her as Boris had literally leapt over the counter (careful to avoid the begonias, of course) and had gotten her into a big bear hug. “Okay...okay, Habit, you can let go now. You’re squishin’ a bit much.”

“Oh, sorrey.” Boris let go, opting to just have his hands rest gently on her shoulders. “Thank you so much, Mirphy! Thamk you...”

There was a sudden crashing sound that drew both their attention away from the conversation, which turned out to be Tim Tam accidentally knocking over some empty flower pots. “Shattered,” they mumbled to themself.

“Weeelll I’d better get going,” Mirphy said, picking up her begonias with a smile. “Hey, if you want, I could email you a link to a little forum I’m on that might have more info for ya later. It’s not much, but it’s something.”

“That would be nice, thamk you.” Boris waved Mirphy on her way as he went over with a broom and dustpan to clean up the mess that Tim Tam had made and might be threatening to continue making. “Here, Timmy-Tammy, let me get this,” he said. “Care-ful where you step.”

Tim Tam stood over the mess as Boris swept, occasionally trying to grab one of the larger pieces before Boris quickly swept them out of their reach. “Four-twenty,” they said with a small smile.

Boris couldn’t help but laugh. “Not that kind of ‘pot’, sillie grape.”

\-----

From the moment he’d closed up shop that afternoon to the time he arrived home after picking up Putunia, Boris’s spirits were high. He couldn't wait to tell Kamal what he’d learned. He was still a little bit unsure that this would solve everything, but he was very confident that his little impromptu talk with Mirphy yielded some fairly concrete answers. His excitement over this combined with Putunia’s general high energy levels and by the time they actually got inside the house they were both practically dancing through the door. “Looks like someone’s mood perked up since last night,” Kamal noted as they came in. “You guys have a good day?”

“Jorge brought in his pet rat for show and tell!” Putunia exclaimed, putting the Mask Driver action figure that she had brought for the same reason on the table. “She was really cool and really soft and SUPER FAT! And she could do tricks like jumping through a hoop!” She then looked up at Boris. “You were feeling bad last night?” she asked. “What made you feel bad?”

“Just a little some-thing about the movie we were watching,” Boris said. “It gave me some frownies but I’m much better now, don’t you worrey.”

“What’d that movie do to make you sad?!” Putunia asked, miffed that something had dared to upset her loved ones.

“Uhhh...”

“The bad guys won!” Kamal interjected. “Yeah, the bad guys won and it was a sad ending and your pops was crying a lot. Not a feel-good movie at all.”

“Yes, there were tears,” Boris said. He sighed in relief, thankful that Kamal was quick on the draw to come up with something believable.

“Bad guys _win_ in grown-up movies?” Putunia frowned. “Man, grown-up movies really stink.”

“Well, why don’t you go-ahead and put your things in your room?” Boris suggested. “There’s something I’d like two talk about with your dad privately, then we can get started on dinner and help with your home-work if you want.”

“Okay!” Putunia smiled, grabbed her toy and running around the corner to the stairs.

“Don’t run up the stairs!” Kamal called after her, though the sounds of her ascending footsteps could tell them both that she hadn’t listened. He sighed, then turned back to Boris. “So what’s goin’ on?” he asked.

“I’ve got some good neewwws!” Boris said. He slid into a chair and began to excitedly tap his hands against the table. “So our fav-o-rite photographer stopped into the shop today, and I told her about my little ish-shoe. You’ll neeever guess what hap-pened! Or maybe you will, because you’re smart, so go ahead and guess!”

“Mirph knew something about what you’re feeling?”

Boris nodded, his smile growing wider. “Asexual,” he said. “That’s what she called it, and I’ll havto look in-to it more but from what she said about the basics I'm pretty sure it sounds like it’s what is upp with my inability to recognize sexy-ness. No-thing wrong with me, at least not in that area of my life, just a lack of sexual a-trac-shon! And it’s _normal!!_ ”

“Figured it was probably something like that,” Kamal said with a grin of his own. “I’m glad you’ve got a word for this now. Still, calling it ‘asexual’, makes it sound like you’re some sort of plant.” He laughed a little. “That’s actually really fitting for you then! Like I know that’s likely got nothing to do with what it means in _this_ context, but the match with the word’s _other_ context just works so well.”

“Oh my good-ness, your right!!” Boris gasped. “I didn’t even think about that...” He was still tapping away at the table, now getting his feet involved in the happy tapping as well. “And! The best ‘part’ of all this! A-parent-ly being asexual and liking someone romanticly can happen at the same time and that’s is normal too! I’m juste...so happy that this internal com-flick doesn’t have to be one, and I can put all ‘that’ in a nice little box with a simple little label and display it on the shelf that is my self for all to see.”

“I’m happy for ya, Boris,” Kamal said. “I’m glad you’re learning more about yourself.”

“Thamk you for stickying with me fore so long even before I figured this out,” Boris said, standing up and making his way over to where Kamal was sitting. “I don’t know who else would stay with some-one who had no interest in beddy-time fun for all these months.”

“Boris, come on, we’re together because we care about each other,” Kamal said. "Sex is just an activity. Just because I’d be interested in doing it doesn’t mean I’m gonna put it as the absolute necessity in my romantic relationship, and definitely not when the guy I love would be uncomfortable with it.”

With a soft smile, Boris leaned down and kissed Kamal on the nose. “Eww, gross!” They both turned to see Putunia had returned from her room. “If you guys wanted to kiss, you could’ve just told me!”

“Oh no, our daughter caught us kissying!” Boris exclaimed. “You know what ‘that’ means!”

Kamal gave him a sly grin. “We gotta kiss _more!_ ”

“YUUUCK!”

They couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “Nah, we can’t just sit here and smooch, we gotta get dinner started sometime,” Kamal said. “If I remember right, tonight’s gonna be special.”

“That’s right!” Boris said. “It’s pizza nite!”

Putunia gasped. “Pizza night!!”

“Do you want to help us make the pizza?” Boris asked. Putunia nodded in excitement, and Boris picked her up into a big hug before setting her down again. “All right, you know what to-do first when makeing food, right?”

“Always wash your hands!” Putunia said with a determined expression. “To keep nasty stuff out of the food and not make people sick!”

“Very good!”

And so the family set about preparing dinner together, and delicious homemade pizza was soon had by all. This was all Boris really needed in his life. A loving family, one he found for himself, who would care for him and he in turn would care for some what may. They were together, the three of them, and he couldn’t have asked for anything better. And so what if he was still figuring himself out? Wasn’t everyone, at the end of the day?

Yeah, that seemed about right.

**Author's Note:**

> Basically this is just me exploring more of my ace Habit headcanon. I know there’s no need for explanation behind ace hcs unless there’s a clear canon contradiction (ie. the character very clearly experiences sexual attraction), but I wanna say why this idea came to me anyway. I have an original series, Theia Historica, wherein one of the nations in that world use flowers to represent different LGBTQ+ identities and the asexuality spectrum is represented by various types ooooof...lilies! And considering how crucial a specific lily is to Habit’s backstory and getting the best ending, the connection was real easy to make and it just stuck. I just wanted to write him realizing this about himself, coming to terms with it, and knowing that it’s okay. Hope the journey from confusion to realization didn’t seem too clumsy, cuz unlike Habit here my own ace realization was a lot easier because I knew about asexuality years before I was at the age where one’s sexual attraction (if they had it) would be expected to develop. Thanks, 20/20 news program, I may not remember how respectful your presentation on asexuality was over a decade down the line, but the fact that it existed at all made teen me a lot less confused than I might’ve been. Also apparently we get compared to plants a lot? But like, usually in a bad way because people like to act like they think there can only be one definition to a word? Yeah, Habit would probably be like the _only_ person not offended by plant ace jokes if they were meant to be rude, he’d just be all “thamk you I’m love my flow-er friends” hehe. XD
> 
> I’d like to make a sarcastic dedication of this fic to every aphobe/exclusionist that worms their way into the SFM fandom. It was their nonsense that gave me the specific idea to write this in the first place, and every time I discover one o-y’all, my resolve for my ace Habit headcanon grows and grows out of both spite and my love and protection for my fellow aces. _Mwahahaha!_ A more serious dedication goes to all my fellow asexuals regardless of your romantic attraction(s) and every aromantic person regardless of your sexual attraction(s). You are _not_ broken if you don’t feel attracted to anyone sexually, romantically, or both. Asexuals are _not_ just prudes who need to get over their fear of intimacy, and aromantics are _not_ just cold-hearted loveless people using others to fulfill their carnal desires. There are many many people who are just like you who live enriched lives full of different kinds of love even without having sexual and/or romantic needs to be met. You matter, you’re valid, and no matter what any exclusionist nonsense gets blasted out we are just as much a part of the LGBTQ+ community as anyone else who is something other than cisgender or straight (in the sense that they’re both heterosexual AND heteromantic). I love y’all in the most platonic sense of the word. ;3


End file.
